For the week ending July 4, 2025
Happy Fourth, Capitalist Pyromaniacs!
Welcome to this week’s🚦Signal & Noise.
As we gather 'round the grill to celebrate our nation’s founding by lighting up the sky with things that explode and giving toddlers sparklers because “what could go wrong?” No, let’s take a moment to honor the true American pastimes: overinflated egos, billionaire hissy fits, and financial self-delusion disguised as entrepreneurship.
This week, I cover two short stories that dive headfirst into the inflatable absurdity of the modern startup economy, guided by one unlucky Kiwi and his high-pressure lesson in valuation bloat. And then, we turn our patriotic gaze toward the ongoing bromance-WWE smackdown between Trump and Musk. These two and their public spats are choreographed with the finesse of a prime time soap serial and reality TV.
Spoiler: The founding fathers didn’t die of gout and powdered wig shame so we could fall for every smoke-and-mirrors distraction they throw at us. But here we are, setting off bottle rockets while Elon and Don sling tweets like it’s Thunderdome.
Disrupting the Human Torso: A Case Study in High-Pressure Growth
Of all the cautionary tales capitalism has coughed up like a fur ball of regret, none is more sublimely, poetically absurd than the saga of Steven McCormack. Here is a man who, through a sequence of events worthy of a Looney Tunes short, managed to turn himself into a human parade float, a fleshy, Michelin Man effigy of our own bloated economic ambitions. And in his story, if you squint hard enough and suspend all good sense, lies the greatest business lesson you’ll never need.
Back in 2011, Mr. McCormack, a New Zealand truck driver, had a workplace mishap. This wasn't your garden-variety slip-and-fall that ends with a strongly worded email from HR about "appropriate footwear." No, Steven slipped and landed, with cosmic precision, butt-first onto a high-pressure air hose. The nozzle pierced his left buttock and began pumping compressed air into his body at 100 psi, which, for the uninitiated, is roughly the pressure required to inflate a commercial truck tire or, apparently, a 48-year-old Kiwi.
His body swelled, separating fat from muscle, compressing his heart, and making his skin feel, in his own Proustian recollection, "like a pork roast." His colleagues, presumably after stifling the kind of laughter that gets you sent to HR for eternity, sprang into action. Paramedics, when they finally arrived, couldn't even administer morphine because the internal pressure physically spat the needle back out. He was, quite literally, too full of himself.
Now, where is the MBA-level insight in this festival of idiocy? Everywhere, my friends. Everywhere.
This is the perfect metaphor for the modern startup bubble. You have a founder with a half-baked idea (let’s call it "buttocks-first innovation") who stumbles backward onto a venture capital funding hose. Suddenly, they're pumped full of cash, their valuation swelling to grotesque, unnatural proportions. Their ego, once a modest little thing, is now a taut, glistening sphere, convinced of its own pork-roast genius. They feel invincible, inflated with the hot air of buzzwords like "synergy," "disruption," and "paradigm-shifting." They are, for all intents and purposes, a financial Michelin Man, waddling through board meetings and leaving a trail of kombucha stains and unearned confidence.
We’ve all seen it. The company with no revenue, a C-suite full of "Chief Vibe Officers," and a valuation that defies the laws of mathematics. They are Steven McCormack, mid-inflation. Their skin is crackling with the promise of an IPO, but inside, their vital organs—like, say, a business model—are being dangerously compressed. And just like the paramedics trying to pierce Steven's pressurized hide, reality, in the form of market corrections or basic accounting, simply cannot get in.
And what about the recovery? McCormack, miraculously, survived. After three days of slowly deflating in a hospital, he was fine. He even planned to return to work in two weeks, presumably with a newfound and entirely justified phobia of brass valves. This, of course, is the part of the story every tech bro and crypto evangelist clings to. "See?" they scream from their standing desks. "The bubble didn't burst, it just... gently deflated! The system works! To the moon!" They ignore the part where a man's heart was nearly squeezed into a diamond and focus on the fact that he walked away.
So, the next time you see some LinkedIn guru posting a platitude about "embracing failure" or "leaning into discomfort," remember Steven McCormack. Remember that sometimes, discomfort isn't a growth opportunity; it's a high-pressure hose turning you into a human blimp. The most profound business lesson here is that sometimes, the best investment you can make is to simply watch where you sit.
Billionaire Tears and Political Theater: Don't Fall for the Trump-Musk Melodrama
So, MarketWatch is breathlessly reporting that the titans are clashing. Trump and Musk are having another one of their little spats on social media, and oh dear, the Tesla stock is taking a little tumble in premarket trading. The horror. Are we really supposed to believe this carefully choreographed tantrum is anything more than political theater for the easily duped?
Article is here: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/tesla-stock-fall-as-the-musk-trump-ceasefire-is-broken-what-happened-in-round-one-5b531875?mod=mw_rss_topstories
Let's break down this pathetic pantomime, shall we?
The Script is Tired. One threatens subsidies, the other rails against government spending he likely benefits from. It's a tale as old as time—or at least as old as the last time they pulled this stunt. Remember the last "feud" in June? A dramatic stock dip followed by a miraculous reconciliation and a tidy 20% recovery for Tesla's share price. It's a predictable, rinse-and-repeat cycle designed to manipulate markets and keep their names in the headlines.
The "Fight" is a Farce. To believe this is a genuine falling out requires a level of naivete that is frankly astonishing. We are expected to believe that two of the most powerful figures in the country, whose interests are deeply intertwined with government contracts and subsidies, would risk it all over a few spicy posts? It's absurd. This is professional wrestling in bespoke suits, a staged drama for the cheap seats.
Follow the Real Money, Not the Fake Outrage. While the commentariat hyperventilates about every tweet and Truth Social post, the real game is being played behind closed doors. Is it really so far-fetched to think that this is all a coordinated spectacle? A way to distract from the fact that, at the end of the day, the powerful protect the powerful? They create these little storms in a teacup to make it seem like there's genuine opposition, a real ideological divide.
But what if there isn't? What if it's all one big club, and you ain't in it? This isn't a war of words; it's a coordinated dance.
Don't let them play you for a fool. The next time you see these two "at war," ask yourself: who really benefits from this narrative? It's certainly not the average person. While they posture and preen, the uniparty of the powerful continues its work, uninterrupted and largely unseen.
Maybe the real story isn't the fight itself, but how easily we are convinced to watch it.
That’s a Wrap
Let’s not get caught waving flags while the billionaires pull strings behind the curtain. Whether it’s venture-backed blowhards floating on startup helium or a political soap opera designed to keep us distracted, the message remains the same: don’t buy the hype, don’t sit on the air hose, and for the love of democracy, keep your BS detectors calibrated.
Now go eat a hot dog and light something on fire. God bless America.
Lawain
P.S. If you enjoy reading 🚦Signal & Noise, spread the chaos and wisdom with your friends, a frenemy, or that coworker who thinks the market is just vibes. If you enjoy the ride and want to support the madness, we salute you. It’s just $100/year or a measly $9.99/month. What a bargain.
Copyright, Disclosure, and Disclaimer Statement
© 2025, Mission Surrender, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
🚦Signal & Noise is the intellectual property of Mission Surrender, LLC. No part of this publication may be copied, reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations used in reviews, academic citations, or personal reference.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position of any organization, institution, or entity. Every effort has been made to ensure that the information presented is accurate, well-sourced, and properly attributed. However, if any misstatements, misquotes, or missing attributions are identified, please notify the author, and corrections will be made accordingly. Some articles is curated from multiple sources, and any omission of references is unintentional. The content is intended for informational and discussion purposes only and should not be construed as professional, financial, legal, or theological advice. Readers are encouraged to conduct their own research and consult appropriate experts before making decisions based on the material provided. By reading this article, you acknowledge that the author and publisher are not responsible for any inaccuracies, interpretations, or consequences that may arise from the use of this content.
This material is intended for informational and educational purposes only. Personal use is permitted; however, commercial use (such as repackaging, reselling, or incorporating this content into paid products, courses, coaching programs, or publications) is strictly prohibited without explicit written consent. Licensing options are available for organizations, publishers, or businesses that wish to distribute or adapt these materials. Please contact lawain@lawainmcneil.com for licensing inquiries.